The 'A' Word... Addiction...

Mummy's made me sound like a druggy! I've been on morphine for practically the whole time that I've been out of her tummy, it was given to me to stop me getting too distressed and uncomfortable. However, when I took my tube out on Tuesday, as they didn't plan on putting me on CPAP, I was still on 25 micrograms of morphine, but that had to stop straight away. The normal procedure would have been to wean me off of it before going on CPAP, but I've done it the other way round... and guess what... it's not fun. I'm going through the classic withdrawal stages and am being a wriggly worm and I twitch and am generally uncomfortable. So they're giving me a tiny bit of morphine orally for the next few days just to take the edge off, thank goodness.

This is my new machine, it replaces the one that had the squiggly line at the top and the oval shape at the bottom (not the one with coloured lines and numbers), isn't it small - just like me! I started the day needing about 85% oxygen, this was because I was wriggling and twitching so much, but when the morphine kicked in and the Chorlyhydrate relaxed me, it's steadily reduced to 32%, which is what Mummy saw before she went home. I've also put on 20g's, so I weigh a great big 830g's! They're still not feeding me any of Mummy's milk though, my tummy's all grumbly...

It has been a good day other than this, I'm getting on with things quite nicely. I played a little joke on Mummy... when she changed my nappy; washed and dried my botty, she was just about to put cream on it and when she wasn't looking I did a wee wee... I'm so pleased with myself - I liked being free for a moment and took full advantage of the situation - and it got a reaction from Mummy, she wasn't cross or anything, she just oooo'd and arrrr'd and did the whole process again!

Daddy's gone away. It's the furthest he's been away from me for the whole 4 1/2 weeks I've been alive and I miss him. I can feel that he's far away in this land called France and he's taken his hands with him so he can't put them on me when I need to calm down and sleep. He's got to look at a race car and sign it off to say that it's OK for racing - whatever all of that means. He told me that one day he'll take me with him, when I'm big and strong... I'm getting there Daddy - I can help you with your work and will make you proud of me. I'll try to say 'Daddy' first, but I can't promise anything. I can't wait to see you again and hear you talk to me, I love you Daddy xxx